a framework for forming men (pt. 3)
"If we do not make formation in Christ the priority, then we're just going to keep on producing Christians that are indistinguishable in their character from many non-Christians."
Dallas Willard
One of the deepest desires of the human heart is for change. At the core of who we are, we ache to be different, more complete, more whole, more loving. We live with a constant tension between our possibility as a man and the man we are. There are a lot of theories about how a man can change, and in the last few weeks, we have been looking at change and formation in the way of Jesus.
I have outlined a pathway of formation that follows these movements:
FORMATION
DEFORMATION
COUNTERFORMATION
TRANSFORMATION
CONFORMATION
Today we are looking at a vision of counter-formation.
We all long for transformation. So much of modern marketing is designed to sell us a different version of ourselves. Different bodies, different mindsets, different relationships, different jobs, different values. But this surface-level change never gets to the depths of the change we really long for.
When King David was confronted with his sin, brokenness, and deformation, his cry wasn’t for a new set of circumstances or a lifestyle upgrade. It was a cry for a new heart. To be formed out of the way of brokenness and into the way of healing. Thus, his prayer after his confrontation of adultery and murder:
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Psalms 51:10
We too have parts of our lives and story we desperately wish could be different. We have our own sexual failure and addictions, our own bitterness and envy, our own frustration and judgments, our own victimhood and entitlement.
The good news of the gospel is that Jesus came to bring change.
Transformation for a Christian man is different than transformation in other men’s movements. For the Christian, we are renewed from the inside out by the power of the Spirit, not changed by willpower, sucking it up, trying harder, making our beds, or making peace with our past. These things may happen as a result of our transformation, but they are not the source of it.
For the Christian, our process of counter-formation comes from within.
We are not left alone to try and change ourselves. When we turn to Jesus in repentance and faith, the Spirit opens our eyes to see what is happening in our hearts. He makes us aware of the ways we have been shaped by the world, the places the flesh has control, and the influence satanic systems are exerting on us. The war between the flesh and the spirit becomes clear, as Galatians 5:19-23 notes.
"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
We see where we have been deformed and how the spirit wants to form us.
The Spirit then empowers, leads, and guides us to follow the way of life and leave the way of death. Galatians 5:24-25 goes on to say:
"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
This is a process of putting off and putting on.
Robert Mulholland notes the importance of replacing vice with virtue, and counter-formation where there has been deformation.
"Even if we could rid the soil of our life of every weed, every evil growth, all that would remain is a barren, sterile plot of dust. Our vices must be replaced with virtues; our false self-supplanted by our life hidden with Christ in God."
This is the great journey of becoming our true self in a process of counter-formation that Paul talks about in Ephesians 4:20-24:
"That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
We learn to think differently, fight the flesh, embrace the person God has made us, and walk in power and holiness.
The spirit is now counter-forming us out of the way of the world and into the way of Jesus.
Where there was once lust, there is now self-control.
Where there was once pride, humility is formed.
Where there was once apathy, passion emerges.
Where there was once wrath, gentleness flourishes.
Where there was once envy, contentment comes into play.
Where there was once greed, generosity breaks through.
Slowly our desires, mindsets, habits, practices, and way of life become what Jesus had in mind. Our new self breaks through in the midst of the old self. We learn to walk with Jesus and become who we truly are.
Although this is a glorious vision, it can be a brutal war.
To confront the flesh, tear down strongholds, and come to terms with how deep a hold sin has had in our lives can be startling. But there is a profound sense of joy, relief, and freedom as the Spirit works in us.
The war is worth it.
Change is attainable.
Healing available.
Transformation possible.
Your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Put to death the false self, so your true self can emerge and you can become the person God intends, the person you long to be.
Praying this becomes more real in your life this week.
Cheers.
Jon.
