"To lend each other a hand when we’re falling, 
Perhaps that’s the only work that matters in the end."

Frederick Buechner

It’s hard for a man to know what to do with his ambition these days. 
The channels for healthy expression seem to be broken. 

Some argue we should focus on impact. This is a kind of utility request. We should seek to make the greatest impact possible on the greatest number of people. But often, when you look behind the scenes, there is a trail of wounded hearts and buried bodies at the price of success. In our desire to do great things, we can do great damage.

Some argue that we should focus on influence. That we should seek to gain as wide an audience as possible. We should build a platform to distribute our perspectives and positions. We should seek to mold and shape the views of others with the force of our lives. But change without direction is wasted energy. Change for change’s sake can lead to nausea on the journey. 

Others suggest we should focus on none of these things. Ambition is toxic they say. It’s the driving factor in so much of the brokenness and pain in the world. History is the battlefield of ambition, and success is written with the blood of failure.

What is a man to do with his ambition? 

This past weekend, we hosted our first-ever Forming Men conference in Tampa. Over 500 men packed into a muggy sanctuary to call on the Lord for freedom and formation. There were tears, prayers, laughter, and embrace. There was worship and the healing of wounds. 

People were gracious with their feedback, but one theme seemed to emerge in the encouragement. Something surprising:

"This was really helpful"

Helpful.

This is not a word visionaries use. "I want to be helpful" probably won’t get you hired for your dream job. But it's something men seem to need right now. We need help.

At the end of his magisterial book, Life After God, Douglas Coupland wrote, "My secret is that I need God--that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to helpme be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love."

Needing help is not weak; it's human.

We need help with our shame.
We need help with our lust.
We need help with our anxiety.
We need help with our apathy.
We need help with our cynicism.
We need help with our despair. 

Jesus knew we need help. In fact, in John 14, 15, and 16, he named the Holy Spirit himself as the Helper.

Helping is divine.

This is where a man can channel his ambition. Into being helpful, coming alongside others who are struggling, and being present and encouraging. To give resources where there is lack, stability where chaos, and love where fear. 

Channel your ambition into being a helpful man. 
Don’t look up and envy. 
Don’t look around and compare.
Don’t look within and critique.
Look down and help.

As Buechner wrote, "To lend each other a hand when we’re falling, Perhaps that’s the only work that matters in the end."

Get a vision of becoming a helpful man. 

Help with your kids’ homework.
Help with the dishes.
Help with the schedule.
Help with the youth group.
Help with the cleaning.
Help with problems in front of you.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: 'If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?' But the good Samaritan reversed the question: 'If I don’t stop to help this man, what will happen to him.'"

Get help. Give help. This is what you should do with your ambition. The world is waiting for a movement of helpful men. Let it start with you. 

Thanks for reading.

Cheers.

Jon.